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Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Everyone has all sort of phobias and one of mine is driving. Sigh...

My mom retired last year. Not long before she retired, her boss asked to meet up with her personally and my mom suspected maybe he wanted to ask her to leave the company. She had been with the company since it first started, rising from a mere clerk position to Sales Manager. She worked there for about 19 years, going through good and tough times trying to sell houses in an oversupply market. So, sensing that her boss wanted to talk to her on her future, she called her children (us) up and requested prayers. Well, I did pray and one of the things I prayed was for the boss to give her the company car she was using. It suddenly pop into my mind and I just ask God for that. Some of you may know that I worked in a recording company some years back and I remembered that when my boss left to work in New York (same company, higher position), the Managing Director gave her the company car that she had been using.

So my asking God for the company car for my mother was not a bizarre request.

Later when my mom told us that among other things, her boss was giving her the company car too. I told my mom ... "oh yeah, I asked that of God.. only waiting for you to confirm." (not in exact words).

Then later, my mom told me that it's too expensive maintaining 2 cars, and she wanted me to have this car. I was excited and at the same time scared. The car was mine to take since November last year.

I stalled... and stalled... and..my mom ask again in July... when are you going to take the car? I didn't answer. I wasn't ready to "face my giant."

Last week, Mctc's car had some problem, first it was the power steering.. then later (same timing) the gear box had to be fixed. Well, not fix lah... we had to change the whole gear box. So yesterday, Mctc asked if I could drive my mom's car to the workshop while he drive his own car with the intention of leaving the car there for fixing. I was like.."err, errr.. ah... okay lah" I was so reluctant. It wasn't a long drive.. not sure how many kilometers, but it's probably 5 minutes or less. So I drove.... it was easy because.. picture this.. I was coming out from a T-junction, turning left to get to the main road. I kept left all the way because I had to turn left again to get to the workshop. Easy right? But my heart was pumping hard..and I prayed very hard too.. haha.

So today Mctc told me that the car was ready, and could I please drive the 2nd car (my mom's car), while he collect his car from the workshop.. GULP! So... well, I had to say ok. So yeah, I drove from the workshop to the house. Thank God there weren't many cars on the road.. hehe..

I always have this picture in my mind that when I want to turn, a car or bike will come out of nowhere and I will hit it. This could be because I was involved a car accident before. I was on a main road but later became a "lane" at the cross junction. I was pretty sure there weren't any moving vehicles in sight before I drove straight but suddenly I heard a loud bang. A bike hit the passenger side of my car. He was going very fast and couldn't stop in time. I was too stunt after that and I guess this could be the reason for my phobia.

I need confidence.. lots of it, so please help me Lord!

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